I knew it had been a while, but didn’t realize it had been 53 days since my last post . . .

Why??

Lots going on. End of year happenings, interviews and reports for the ministry among at-risk children at a local elementary school that I direct. Touches with most all of the 90+ adults involved. Following dreams for work among the children this summer, dreams for things to come. Working out our ministry budget for next year. Readying the pieces for next year which begins with training for returning mentors in August and new mentors in September.

List upon never-ending to-so list . . . and now it is two weeks past when I had hoped to be finished with all of the above.

This morning in a few moments of quiet, I picked up my bible study on the book of Hebrews and read a couple of convicting thoughts: the first in Hebrews 2:3, How shall we escape {the things of this world that bring us down, destroy us} if we ignore so great a salvation? 

Perhaps meaning, how will we stay close to Jesus if we neglect being with Him? How will we stay focused and filled if we neglect taking time to be forgiven, cleansed, changed, strengthened and guided by God? How can we face the crucible of this world if we neglect looking to the radiance of God’s glory in the face of Jesus? Neglect coming in confidence, finding mercy and help at the throne of grace. Neglect accessing the inexhaustible treasure of God’s promises and God’s presence with us. Hoping for Something Better by Nancy Guthrie

A few pages later, I read of Jesus enduring temptation in his humanity, enduring beyond his own power to endure. Yet overcoming and defeating it by the very same weapons we have – God’s Word, God’s Spirit, God’s power, God’s presence.

Jesus knows how we feel.

And perhaps as I find myself this day, Jesus knew what it was like to feel depleted, weary, somewhat empty. Jesus knew what it was like to feel alone, and in ministry to ache over others.

But Jesus also knew what it was like to find His connection-strength-help-hope in God the Father.

I set my book aside, opened my computer and pulled up my blog site, a site I confess I have avoided the past weeks because I didn’t feel I had anything to say . . .

So in God’s economy, what did I read in my last blogpost but what I need most right now? I had written about finding time with God, receiving sustenance from the inflowing life-giving waters of the Lord. Waters readily available to all who would seek and drink.

I also read how the rocks of our lives may create havoc and stumbling blocks to that water, but they are not enough to keep God’s Spirit from growing within us.

Lately though, I fear the rocks of my fierce competitiveness – I have to get it ALL done, by myself. Rocks of my refusal to follow in the area of writing – I can’t, I don’t have anything to say, others are so much better . . . . Rocks of the junk I have allowed to fill my moments have indeed disrupted any clarity that time with God would have brought me and kept me from the one source Who fills my soul.

Oh God, please hammer away at the rocks within me, pour out your living water upon me, fill my depleted soul, minister to my hurts, feed me with the Bread of Life . . . and as I lay my lists before you, whittle away until only what you desire is what I see and follow on the path ahead.

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